DO
YOUR FEELINGS NEED A PLASTER
The Carers Discussion Group continues to learn
about our situation
Three of us went to a talk about caring at the
Free Church in Amersham
The excellent speaker pointed out that learning
about our feelings empowered us to see the situation more clearly.
She was concerned that we should get out more
and give each other space.
One lady hadn’t been out for months.
She said we see more hazards in the home than
there really are and feel we can’t leave the patient
If we limit our frustrations, there is less
stress for both patient and carer and more independence for the
patient.
Our emotions colour our judgement on risks.
Black humour is a lifesaver
The Brits survived better than the GIs in the
Japanese Camps during WW2, due to their special sense of humour.
Just as we would patch up a wound, our guilt,
anger and fear needs attention.
We have discussed and understood this in our
last two meetings.
Basically aggression lifts us out of
depression, which can range from sadness to hopelessness.
We are attacking, striving, conquering and
surviving hopelessness.
A quote from Madeleine Mc Cann’s mother in
yesterday’s newspaper
When I was named an Arguido I felt really low,
weak and fragile, then suddenly I became angry and felt really
strong and could get on with the search
If you can’t be with us please give us your
thoughts and topics to discuss.
Nobody is “in charge”. We are self disciplined,
constructive and learning from each other. We have survived on black
humour but are beginning to use more skills.
We hope the “Strokees” will experience the same
benefits from their group therapy and one day
all groups can work together with problems shared.
It’s all positive.
STRESS
WE CAN CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT
OVER ANOTHER
Physical signs of stress
Emotions
Behaviour
Pounding heart
Negative out look
Not taking care of self
Lack of energy
Can’t concentrate
Sleeping too much
Quick breathing
Agitation
Sleeping too little
Sweaty palms
Depression
Nightmares
Cold hands and feet
Forgetfulness
Short temper
Muscle tension
Tearful
Feelings of alienation
Headaches
Irritability
Drinking, smoking etc
Faintness dizziness
Over sensitive
Change in social habits
Upset stomach
Impatient
Shabby appearance
We are aiming to live in the moment.
For self acceptance, empowerment, more time, more energy, better
physical and mental health, sense of focus, purpose, control and
ultimately, calmness and contentment
85% of illnesses
are stress related
Accept help. Recognise the other
person might not do the task as well as you.
Build
a support network.
Be
assertive. Ask for what you need and communicate openly
Learn to say no
Don’t
be a perfectionist, remember80% of results are achieved by 20%
effort.
Allocate
enough time for a job. Prioritise them. Set realistic goals
Break regularly throughout the day to
stretch, breathe deeply and move about Acknowledge your own
achievements regularly.
Exercise,[neck
muscles tighten with stress] eat sensibly, keep fit. Breathe deeply.
Develop
outside interests. Learn a new skill. to feel independent: and meet
people.
Talk
things through. Expressing feelings is important
If possible remove yourself from a
stressful situation, [ideas to follow]
Relax at bed time.
Watch or read comedy
rather than something stimulating.
Take
a long bath.
OTHER WAYS OF RELAXATION
Deep Breathing,
slowly, from belly, diaphragm then chest.
Hold. Exhale slowly
From chest, diaphragm and then belly.
Meditation.
Tense then relax every muscle and think of something calming.
Mantra.
Hum, sing or chant poetry
[something repetitive and reassuring]
Imagery.
Replace negative thoughts immediately
with your favourite images
Say something under your breath that
makes you laugh.
I say T34, which is a great Russian
tank
N.L.P.
Neurological Linguisitc Programming.
Think of something lovely at the same time as gently stroking
the back of the hand or rubbing the ear lobe.
Practice regularly and use the action during a stressful
moment
Diminish an upsetting experience by
trying to view it in black and white, or blurred.
See someone threatening, adorned with
donkey ears or sitting on the loo!!
We look for change without
making an effort. Don’t just learn about it. DO IT
If you always do
what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got
