Sally's Lillies Carers & Stress
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Our Carers meet up every few weeks to exchange ideas and experiences. Our carers are so vital we thought it best to devote a page of this website to them and their ideas for sharing with all who visit this page.

DO YOUR FEELINGS NEED A PLASTER

The Carers Discussion Group continues to learn about our situation

Three of us went to a talk about caring at the Free Church in Amersham

The excellent speaker pointed out that learning about our feelings empowered us to see the situation more clearly.

She was concerned that we should get out more and give each other space.

One lady hadn’t been out for months.

She said we see more hazards in the home than there really are and feel we can’t leave the patient

If we limit our frustrations, there is less stress for both patient and carer and more independence for the patient.

Our emotions colour our judgement on risks.

Black humour is a lifesaver

The Brits survived better than the GIs in the Japanese Camps during WW2, due to their special sense of humour.

Just as we would patch up a wound, our guilt, anger and fear needs attention.

We have discussed and understood this in our last two meetings.

Basically aggression lifts us out of depression, which can range from sadness to hopelessness.

We are attacking, striving, conquering and surviving hopelessness.

A quote from Madeleine Mc Cann’s mother in  yesterday’s newspaper

When I was named an Arguido I felt really low, weak and fragile, then suddenly I became angry and felt really strong and could get on with the search

If you can’t be with us please give us your thoughts and topics to discuss.

Nobody is “in charge”. We are self disciplined, constructive and learning from each other. We have survived on black humour but are beginning to use more skills.

We hope the “Strokees” will experience the same benefits from their group therapy and one day  all groups can work together with problems shared.

It’s all positive.

            STRESS              

WE CAN CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER 

Physical signs of stress            Emotions                         Behaviour

Pounding heart                          Negative out look             Not taking care of self

Lack of energy                          Can’t concentrate              Sleeping too much

Quick breathing                        Agitation                          Sleeping too little

Sweaty palms                            Depression                       Nightmares

Cold hands and feet                   Forgetfulness                  Short temper

Muscle tension                          Tearful                             Feelings of alienation

Headaches                                 Irritability                         Drinking, smoking etc

Faintness dizziness                    Over sensitive                  Change in social habits

Upset stomach                           Impatient                          Shabby appearance

We are aiming to live in the moment. For self acceptance, empowerment, more time, more energy, better physical and mental health, sense of focus, purpose, control and ultimately, calmness and contentment

85% of illnesses are stress related

Accept help. Recognise the other person might not do the task as well as you.

 Build a support network. 

 Be assertive. Ask for what you need and communicate openly

Learn to say no

 Don’t be a perfectionist, remember80% of results are achieved by 20% effort.

 Allocate enough time for a job. Prioritise them. Set realistic goals

Break regularly throughout the day to stretch, breathe deeply and move about Acknowledge your own achievements regularly.

 Exercise,[neck muscles tighten with stress] eat sensibly, keep fit. Breathe deeply.

 Develop outside interests. Learn a new skill. to feel independent: and meet people.

 Talk things through. Expressing feelings is important

If possible remove yourself from a stressful situation, [ideas to follow]

Relax at bed time.   Watch or read comedy  rather than something stimulating.

 Take a long bath. 

OTHER WAYS OF RELAXATION

Deep Breathing, slowly, from belly, diaphragm then chest.  Hold. Exhale slowly

From chest, diaphragm and then belly.

Meditation.  Tense then relax every muscle and think of something calming.

Mantra. Hum, sing or chant poetry  [something repetitive and reassuring]

Imagery.  Replace negative thoughts immediately with your favourite images

Say something under your breath that makes you laugh.

I say T34, which is a great Russian tank

N.L.P.  Neurological Linguisitc Programming.   Think of something lovely at the same time as gently stroking the back of the hand or rubbing the ear lobe.  Practice regularly and use the action during a stressful moment

Diminish an upsetting experience by trying to view it in black and white, or blurred.

See someone threatening, adorned with donkey ears or sitting on the loo!!

 We look for change without making an effort. Don’t just learn about it. DO IT

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got

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This site was last updated 26-Apr-2010            © Laurence K Fineman 2010 All rights reserved   Sterwick Websites